Episode 77: Hilarious Gym Stories

“Dude, that is an insurance nightmare.”

“It was the worst combination, in front of the worst amount of people”

“We are gonna take this one back to how much of an irresponsible lunatic I was”


“My penis was at risk”


  • Welcome Back: 00:30
  • John Nearly Kills A Guy: 2:15
  • Cory and Dustin Can’t Lift 275 Combined: 7:30
  • John Gives an Employee Frost Bite: 11:50
  • Honey Buns As A Pre-Workout Meal: 14:45
  • Spanky McFly: 19:45
  • Someone Commands Cory To Present Himself: 23:15
  • Closing Remarks: 31:30


Time for some fun stories. John was working at a commercial gym when he was in his early twenties. During this time John decided to advise a man with a knee injury ┬áto “jog it off”. Not long after there is a massive THUD that came about from the injured gentleman trying to run on the treadmill. He couldn’t keep up and was thrown off and knocked out cold. They pick him up, he wakes up a few seconds late and asks what happened, claiming his shoulder hurts. John tells him to roll his shoulder to try and loosen it up. As he moves his shoulder forward HE DISLOCATES HIS SHOULDER. The man was then taken away in an ambulance and made a full recovery… we think.

Cory and Dustin were benching on some old rickety benches at the Ohio State fitness center. Cory goes to bench 275, thinking he is hot shit and he misses it. Dustin isn’t spotting correctly so he can’t pull it off. Now in the middle of a packed rec center, a gentleman hops off the elliptical to get the weight off of Cory. Full of shame, Cory and Dustin decide to just walk out. There was no playing it off and trying to salvage some ego. It was all over.

Cory sees this kid who has been talking shit, struggling to bench 135. So naturally Cory decides to flex a little (pun intended). He goes up to the guy, asks if he can work in and proceeds to curl the weight for the same reps this kid had bench pressed it. Just to be a dick.

John forces an employee to go out in sub zero temperatures to post flyers. The employee comes back after 20 minutes complaining that he is too cold. John decides this is bullshit and sends him back out. Hours later the kid has not returned and John gets a phone call form the kid’s mother. Turns out he had been admitted to the ER with frost bite and they may need to remove his finger. John’s advice was to put him under the heat lamp and he will be fine.

10-15 minutes into the warmup with a client the guy starts looking pretty rough. Cory asks the guy what he ate for breakfast. Well the client thought that it would be a good idea to eat two Honey Buns immediately before a workout. Not ideal.

A member of John’s gym had earned the name “Spanky McFly”, but John never knew why. Until one day a woman comes in yelling for someone to come outside. As John gets outside he sees ol’ Spanky sitting in his car, masturbating while staring at this woman. You would think John’s presence would deter this man, but no. He continues to stare and rub. It wasn’t until John advanced toward him that he drives away.

As Cory is working out early one morning, two sketchy looking guys creep into the gym. As Cory is training these two guys are talking and the conversation escalates. They begin yelling at each other, Cory goes over to try and get them to leave and the one guy yells “SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING COCK RIGHT NOW”. Cory, obviously thrown off by this statement starts yelling at this guy until eventually they leave and he calls the police. About a month later, Cory sees the guy in the grocery store. He walks up to him, says “hey you remember me? You wanted to see my cock in my gym at 5 in the morning… how about I knock you out”. The guy starts peeing in his pants, he is so scared of what Cory might do that he became super defensive.





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