Defeat Self Doubt

“Self doubt is the killer of dreams”

“Decision making and emotion are like oil and water. They do not work together.”

“We get one motherfucking shot at this. Do not sacrifice it for the speculation in your head.”

“You are in control of your reality. It may sound hokey but it is the fucking truth.”

“You never want to write a check with your mouth that your fuckin actions can’t cash.”

“The stuff that I do day to day gives me the confidence I need to not believe in that stuff”

“I literally just think, ‘Im a Bad Motherfucker'”

“I remember thinking that you’re a little bitch ass motherfucker if you can’t finish this. If you don’t have the confidence to hang everything on the line for the story”

EPISODE INDEX:

  • Welcome Back: 00:30
  • How Cory and John Handle Self Doubt: 1:30
  • How You Can Approach Self Doubt: 9:30
  • No One Else Would Have Seen This Coming: 21:00
  • What Self Doubt Can Do: 28:00
  • Internal Dialogue: 36:30
  • Testing Yourself: 42:00
  • Never Quitting: 48:30
  • Closing Remarks: 59:45

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Everyone has experienced self doubt. It is ever-present. The only question is how we learn to manage it. Even Cory and John experience self doubt every day. Of course thoughts of “is this going to work” going to creep in but you have to come up with strategies to remain optimistic. The way John handles self doubt, is to mentally reject it. If he cannot do it right away he will stop whatever he is doing until he is able to rid his mind of the self doubt. It is imperative to get it out, otherwise whatever you are working on will suffer. Decision making and emotion are like oil and water, they do not work together. Any decision must be rooted in objective thought and if self doubt is present you cannot make a decision objectively. When Cory is deep in his routine, self doubt is at an all time low. It can still creep in but it is easily dismissed. It is when Cory falls out of his routine that self doubt becomes a larger problem. When he is in his routine he builds a momentum up that flows into everything he is doing. When some things are disjointed the self doubt creeps in. When it does creep in, Cory then recommits himself to what he knows works. The unknown makes you uncomfortable. The key is to make sure you have everything locked up and in line.

You can think about things that can liberate you from the self doubt for example, if the fear comes true what will your life look like? This can be scary to think about but it helps you realize that perspective matters. If that picture has you in good health, your family is still together, you are able to start a new venture if you would choose to do so then you can squash that fear. If you have what really matters to live a happy life then you need not worry about the self doubt. If you are left without these things then you must look at where the doubt is coming from and what you are embarking on because you may need to reassess. Each time Cory took a leap of faith into a venture he always forecasted the worst case scenario. He knew that regardless he could go back to what he was doing before and be fine. Understanding that even if you fall flat on your face you can go back to what you did before is liberating. It gives you the courage to bet on yourself and take that chance. Part of chasing your dream is knowing the odds are stacked against you. That isn’t being unmotivated. That is understanding reality. In examining the worst case scenario you can draw even more motivation to say “Fuck that. I’m not going back to where I was.” The point where you realize that you must respect people and act morally but even if it is your mother, you can’t give a fuck about what people are going to say. So many people sacrifice their dream because of self doubt and what people are going to say. We all get one shot at what we want in life and we cannot waste our time and mental energy on concerning ourselves with what other people may think. No one else knows what you are capable of. You are in control of your reality. It may sound hokey but it is the fucking truth. You can’t let people limit you.

If you are able to get rid of self doubt then people begin to see you as a know it all or cocky, or overly confident. Then once you make something of yourself and you talk about what you have going on, you make people insecure. When you get to a certain point even people close to you will begin rooting against you. These people, even if they are close to you need to be cut out. Create a network of people who are likeminded and can provide you with opportunity rather than those who will only cut you down. If you have that negativity chirping in your ear, eventually it will eat away at you. You have to push it out.

When you need to push self doubt out the most is when you decide to take a step up in your career. You need to have confidence and stick to it. Keep putting in time and hammering away at the opportunities and eventually they will come to fruition. Not only do you need to confidently state what you are capable of when you are leveling up, but you need to back it up with your actions. People talk to each other and if you become known as the guy who can talk a great game but fails to execute then you are dead on arrival.

Figuring out a strategy that works for you, finding a way to hack your brain so to speak and also expecting, preparing, and having a strategy for dealing with the concern of what others will think. That goes beyond just having self doubt. It creates self doubt and goes into a million other destructive categories. So many people know they being held back by concerning themselves with what others think but are unable to get over that hurdle. Don’t succumb to this trap. So much of life is just jumping in the pool and starting. When you are lacking confidence in something, this can a signal to study and read up more on that topic. Outwardly you want to come off modest because that is how you interact with people. Yet, you want to have an internal dialogue where you are know as John puts it “you are a bad motherfucker.” In order to have that internal dialogue your actions have to back it up. You begin to embody that bad motherfucker you tell yourself you are.

John will constantly test himself in his game, business by constantly entering new verticals, new areas for him to build in. Cory tests himself daily by pushing himself to new limits in the gym. This primes him for the rest of the day. When you start your day by testing your limits and you begin with that mentality, it stays with you. In these moments where all eyes are on you whether it is in weightlifting or in business this is where you find what you are made of. It is when it is solely on you. Win or lose, you learn lessons. Quitting is the most readily available option there is but as a fighter you cover it up and keep getting back up, no matter how many times you get put back down. If you keep telling yourself, I gotta survive, I gotta survive then you are a winner. A winner in life is the person who can take that ass whooping without ever going down. If you can do that then eventually it will be your time to give the ass whooping.

Everyone needs to have items or times in their life they can look back to when things get a little bit off to help put you back in that mindset of when you were operating at your highest level. Cory watches old videos of himself, listens to old podcasts that he’s recorded in order to get his mind back in place when it falters. Everyone has these moments where shit just isn’t clicking, but those who win long term are those who stay consistent longer than everyone else.

Get over the thought that internal dialogue is hokey. You don’t always have someone you can talk to in life so you have to learn to become self reliant. If you create a daily internal dialogue with yourself, where you lay out what could happen if you fears come true and then how to avoid them. If you can do this then you will conquer your fears. It may not cure everything but it will make a noticeable difference.

Challenge yourself to be better than you were yesterday and better than you are right now. The mark that you try to leave will only come to fruition if you can limit self doubt. If you can set strategies to combat self doubt when it arises then there truly is no limit for you because you are in control of your future.

THE PODCAST CANT BE STOPPED!!!

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