The Value of Emotional Intelligence

“Leaders need emotional intelligence more than anything”

“You gotta understand where people’s hearts are on certain things”

“What got me here is figuring it out on my fucking own and having the balls to do shit!”

“Even if you’re big you can act small”

“Everyone is the contender at some time”

EPISODE INDEX:

  • Welcome Back: 00:30
  • What Is Street Smarts?: 2:00
  • Why Leaders Need Emotional Intelligence: 9:45
  • Prerequisites For Emotional Intelligence: 14:00
  • Taking Shit Personally: 20:00
  • Treating People Like People: 24:00
  • Closing Remarks: 31:30

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Whether we are conscious of it or not, we all constantly rely on emotional intelligence. The people who are commonly referred to as “street smart” actually have emotional intelligence. There also tends to be an inverse relationship between those who are academically intelligent (having a high IQ) and having strong emotional intelligence (a high EQ). It has been posited that the higher a person’s IQ is the lower their EQ. Of course this is not true 100% of the time, but the trend is in this direction. This is why true geniuses on the IQ scale often have trouble with human interaction. There is a sweet spot for this in business because emotional intelligence is what allows people to communicate and operate successfully with other people in the real world.  The good news is emotional intelligence can be taught, at least to a certain extent. You can become better at it. By looking at situations from someone else shoes, not only do you gain empathy for their perspective but you can also better anticipate their next move in a business negotiation. This is how you get five steps ahead of others. Understanding someone else’s situation helps you know when to push and when not to push them. This is beneficial in all facets of life, not just business. If you take the time to prime your brain and get your mind in the other person’s shoes before the conversation then you are ready to have a more productive conversation.

Leaders need more emotional intelligence than anything. There could be a day where you walk into work with a plan to get shit done but when you arrive, the people who are typically your top performers are not operating like they usually do. Emotional intelligence gives you the ability to understand, today may not be the day to push these people extra hard. It may instead be the perfect time to sit down with them and discuss how they feel things could be improved. If you continually push people when they aren’t feeling their best, it will wear on them and eventually you will lose them. You need to understand where people’s hearts are on certain things. Oftentimes projects can become an employees baby that they built up from nothing and in these situations you want to be very careful how you approach discussing the project with them. It is important to think about whenever you are having a conversation with someone, “how is this going to affect them?” Interacting with people through this lens helps you see things from their perspective and help you strategize the conversation.

Something that will disable you from being highly emotional intelligence is a lack of true self understanding.You need to understand why you are the way you are if you want to be able to understand other people. Who you are is going to alter how you receive any comment on a phone call. For example, John has a quicker trigger on certain topics because of his background in an abusive household and as a drug addict. Something that may not have much of an effect on Cory and set John off because it sparks something from his past. Once you are able to gain a true understanding of yourself, the fog is lifted and you begin to see things very clearly. This rids you of emotional biases and enables you to lead more effectively. Successful people are in touch with who they are and what life events have made them that way. If you fail to look inward and understand yourself there is no way you will be as effective in business, in relationships or anything if you do not understand you first.

One of the biggest pillars of emotional intelligence is to not take something personally. If you can learn to not take shit personal, you will be ahead of everyone. Even if someone means something personal because for whatever reason they just don’t like you, understand not everyone is going to like you. No matter what you do, there will be people who simply don’t like you. You cannot get caught up or let someone slow you down just because someone doesn’t like you. In life far more people will dislike you than like you. Once you understand this you can move on with your business. Treating people like people is something that rarely happens. Especially in the arena of people who have made 7, 8 or 9 figures people tend to stop treating other people like human beings. If you achieve that level of monetary success but lose the ability to connect with people at that human level then you have lost. However, if you are able to continue treating people well, your success in all areas of life will continue to grow.

When you look at the grand scheme of emotional intelligence, so many people let their success define who they are. No matter what your level of success is you will always be who you truly are. Success does not define you. At the end of the day, emotional intelligence is understanding that every human being has the same emotional makeup as you.

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