Conquering Fear

“I don’t believe in fear, I believe fear is purely a choice”

“Fear exists if you choose to give your attention to it.”

“The guy who doesn’t care has the most power”

“This is nothing more than the world cleansing you of things that you don’t need as you move forward.”

“Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists.”

“You become a distraction to yourself when you worry about problems.”

“If a motherfucker can build an iPhone then I have to be able to accomplish this…”

“It is human nature to not want to do the things that are tough.”

 EPISODE INDEX:

  • Welcome Back: 1:30
  • First Thoughts On Conquering Fear: 3:40
  • Moving Beyond Fear, Into A New Level: 12:30
  • Fear When Dealing With The People Around You: 25:30
  • Figure Out What You’re Scared Of: 36:40
  • The Paralyzing Fear of “What’s Next?”: 43:00
  • Living In The Uncomfortable/Figure It Out: 56:20
  • People Interacting With People: 1:05:20
  • The Beginning Of Controlling Your Fear: 1:20:05

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Fear is a choice. It is a state of mind. You choose to put your mind on these roadblocks. The only way you make fear real is by giving into it. Fear is a process of discovery. Thats all it is. It is a process of discovering who you are and what you’re made of.  Fear is an emotion. It is not a tangible thing, yet it can paralyze you. Fear will come your direction no matter what. The key is about how you push it out. If you have a strategy for pushing the fear out of your mind, with practice, you will never be paralyzed by fear. One of the most effective ways to get over your fear is exposure. Expose yourself to what you are afraid of. Start small and gradually work your way up to throwing yourself into the fire completely. Over time you will habituate to it and realize that there is nothing to fear. The more you get through, the more you pull out of yourself, the easier it is for you to overcome the fears that arise. Fear exists if you choose to give your attention to it. If you can accept and come to piece with the worst case scenario, you will destroy your fear. It is like any mental hurdle. We all have issues in our past that we can’t seem to let go of, but once we accept that they have happened we can begin to move forward. The same goes for fear. When you can accept that the worst possible outcome, you can begin to move forward and let go of fear.

Why are people scared? School teaches you to occupy one thing, do one ting and have one responsibility but working for yourself requires taking on multiple responsibilities. Going in, doing your work and getting your paycheck every week is safe, its expected. In doing this you aren’t concerned with keeping the lights on. When you run your own business you have to juggle multiple responsibilities. You have to take on more and more responsibility and be a steward of the practice. Through blood sweat and tears you will figure it out. The man who is willing to take it the furthest, the man who embraces the fear and doesn’t care about the most extreme circumstances holds the most power. In negotiations, John does not give a fuck if the person on the other side of the table does not like him. He does not care if they never take his calls again. Of course he wants to get the deal done but he has no problem taking it to that level and that is why he has had such success as a dealmaker. Give everyone respect and dignity. Aside from that you owe them nothing. Do your thing, know your objective and be fucking relentless. You cannot control whether or not the like you. The worst thing you can do is give a shit.

There are people in your life who don’t deserve to be there. Oftentimes we grant people our time and energy because we feel we owe it to them or we just want to be nice. However, in certain relationships others begin to think that they are owed something, in these scenarios it is good to remove them from your life. This is nothing more than the world cleansing you of things that you don’t need as you move forward. These are people who only want to hitch their wagon to you and ride on your coat tails. These are people you don’t need in your life. When it comes to your business you need to become emotionless in order to get your shit done. You are not someone’s peer when you are running a business. As John puts it, “If you did what I did, if you thought what I thought, if you put the time in that I put in then you’d be sitting in this chair and you wouldn’t have some guy who is much younger than you, cutting you a check.” When you put in the work you owe it to yourself to not fear what other people think.

There should be no fear when working with other people. When Cory was working with Tiger, the press people asked him if he was nervous or scared to interview him, the answer was no. Cory saw Tiger as just another person who happened to be really good at golf. This is the way to interact with people of this level. Cory recognized that Tiger was essentially the same as him, they just had different crafts.

When you’re scared about something, sitting down and thinking about it, analyzing what you are really scared for is a powerful tool to overcome the fear. When you sit with it for a second you can truly understand why it has the hold on you. Once you reach this point of understanding, it becomes easier to move past it, let it go and do something productive. A lot of anxiety, depression and other mood disorders stem from the inability to name one’s fear. It comes from not knowing or fully understanding why you are feeling the way you do. When you can sit down with yourself and have a moment of honest clarity, you can BEGIN to move forward. This isn’t an easy thing to do. It takes time and practice but this is the first step.

Depression is a product of the past, fear is a product of the present and anxiety is the product of worrying about the future. Learning how to overcome each stage moves you onto the next and if you can beat the depression from the past and the fear for the present then anxiety doesn’t really exist because you are living in your present moment. Anxiety creeps in when we concern ourselves too much with the future. If we can live in the present and keep our minds focused on the one thing that is within our control, the present, we can find mental peace. Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists.

Many young people live in this paralyzing fear of worry about what is coming next. The important thing to realize is that, you are not there yet. Whatever is next, is going to be next. You need to take care of the shit you have in front of you right now. Don’t concern yourself with whats next. If you take care of what you have to do today the what’s next will, essentially, take care of itself. Live in the present time. Dig in, ask yourself why you’re afraid. Typically it is because we don’t know where we will be in a year or two. We need to be at piece with that thought. Through daily preparation, you are ready to take on the only tangible thing, the task at hand while simultaneously preparing yourself for anything that may come your way. Play through the worst case scenario in your head and realize that everything that really matters will still be fine even if your worst fear comes true.

You become a distraction to yourself by worrying about problems. Don’t worry about your problems now because if those problems come, you will have enough time to deal with them then. Life is not meant to be lived focusing on the past. We create our futures by what we do in our present. That is a perspective shift to “what am I going to make happen?” rather than wondering “what is going to happen to me?” By doing things like getting up early and developing yourself you become proactive in designing your future. Go out and make things happen. Don’t let things happen to you.

Putting yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable on a regular basis helps to push you to new heights. When you train yourself to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations your threshold for discomfort goes through the roof. When everyone else is running scared because they are uncomfortable, you feel right at home. Training yourself in this manner helps you to not fear anything.

When fear comes to Maurice, he has two things that he draws on for inspiration. The first, is the iPhone. Yes, the iPhone. Whenever he is attempting to do something he asks himself if a motherfucker can build an iPhone, I have to be able to accomplish this. Reese also draws inspiration from Elon Musk. Elon Musk is a fucking rock star. He is the definition of outside the box, no ceilings thinking. The kinds of goals Elon has are unbelievable and seem impossible, yet he keeps prevailing. He has always been more focused on discovery far more than any material thing. He set out to change the world and save humanity by colonizing Mars.

Shake shack (the burger chain of restaurants) is exploding. They have great food and there is always a line out the door at their restaurants. The reason for this is they pride themselves on bringing people together. They bring people out of their technology and even if they are just standing in line for an hour, they are getting an hour of time with people. Where they can share stories and similarities. In our technology based, fast paced society it is rare that we get to spend this amount of time with others. Our advice to an aspiring entrepreneur, start a business that brings people out of their technology and into humanity. Build something that brings people together. Maurice believes that if you build a company that has good intentions, looking to help people then you will be blessed with good fortune. Call it karma or whatever you want but those who set out with good intentions are more likely to succeed than those who are self interested and motivated by ego.

Nothing real is threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Remaining real and showing who you really are, being genuine with others will benefit you and those you intend to serve. If you are real and honest, there may be things that come up that can appear to threaten you but they are fictitious. Anyone who puts on a facade or deceives to help their image will never compare to you. If the spirit of where we are and what we are doing is out of love then nothing can threaten it because there is nothing more real than love.

It is important to try and understand more about who we are and why we are the way we are. We can never fully understand it but what we can do is gain a slightly better understanding each time we think about it. This understanding can inform decisions about who you should keep in your life and those you should not keep in your life.

In order to begin moving beyond your fears, corny or played out as it may seem, have a vision board. Set up your week and your goals and what you are going to accomplish. This puts you in control of your life and when you are in control of your life you gain control over your fears. A man with a plan is dangerous. Something as simple as writing down where you want to go, does wonders. Its just like setting your GPS in your car. Punch in the address and it shows you step by step how to get there. Go out, buy a white board, put it somewhere you and everyone can see it. This provides you a reminder everyday that you are on a mission and to not let your goals fall by the wayside. In addition putting it somewhere others can see it allows them to help hold you accountable. Everything comes down to accountability. Everyone needs someone to help hold them accountable because it is human nature to not want to do the things that are tough. Nobody’s business goes the way they initially plan. Success is not linear. There are all kinds of curveballs that are thrown your way and having the consistency of seeing your plan, having those you love help to hold you accountable can help you navigate the murky waters of entrepreneurship. All these detours and curve balls that come at you prepare you for what to come.

Know what you want and don’t be afraid to say it. Otherwise, you are wandering aimlessly through life.

SPONSORS

This episode is brought to you by Boston Sword & Tuna! Your one stop shop for all your seafood needs. Get fresh seafood delivered to your door within 24 hours of placing your order on shop.bstseafood.com! USE PROMO CODE “BIZBIS15” For 15% off your next order!

This episode is brought to you by Robinhood. Robinhood is a FREE stock trading app. Their goal is to democratize the American financial system and put the power in your hands. It is FREE to download and they do NOT charge any commission or trading fees. They provide you the tools to learn how to invest and dabble in the market no matter your financial situation because there is no minimum investment. Not to mention if you go to biceps.robinhood.com and download the app they will give you a FREE STOCK of Apple, Ford or Sprint!

This episode is brought to you by Health IQ. Health IQ is a life insurance company that provides savings to health conscious people. If you exercise regularly and/or watch what you eat you can qualify for up to 33% off! People who are better drivers receive better rates on car insurance, why shouldn’t healthy people pay less for life insurance? Healthy people live longer so there is not reason to pay the same for life insurance as someone with an abundance of health problems. Go to healthiq.com/bandb to receive your FREE QUOTE today!

Unknown-5.jpeg

UnknownBoston Sword & Tuna, Inc.

Leave a Reply