Dreams vs. Goals & How Family Shapes Us

“Life is not about doing or having. It is about becoming who you want to be.”

“People don’t have a dream about the process. They have a dream about the destination”

“Like battle, life is a fucking war.”

“If you don’t understand it, don’t invest in it.”

“If something ‘bad’ happens it is only bad if you perceive it that way”

“I never gave a fuck if anyone was proud of me. I only gave a fuck about getting shit done.”

EPISODE INDEX:

  • Welcome Back: 1:20
  • Dreaming vs. Goals: 3:15
  • Having An Unclear Vision: 14:20
  • What Makes You Uncomfortable: 26:20
  • Father Figures and Being Shaped By Family: 46:30
  • Closing Remarks: 1:14:40 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

A vision, initially is a day dream. In the beginning it is day dreaming of what you will become. A lot of adults just stop dreaming. What you need to do is visualize everything. Visualize the room you will be in, visualize the way it feels, the scenes and even clothes you are going to where in a given scenario. This is a key factor in actualizing your vision.  The more you pour into your thoughts the more likely the idea is to become reality. To John, on the other hand, dreams are delusional because dreams are not reality. Having goals however, enables you to follow a strategy and put together steps. A dream will never come true in the way you saw it. Dreaming is not strategy base whereas goals are strategy based. People tend to miss “it” because they don’t have a dream about the process. They have a dream about the destination. The process is where it all takes place.

John knew he would be successful but he didn’t know in what vertical. Cory always knew he would be in the fitness space. This makes a huge difference and plays into John’s opinion of how he believes dreams can be delusional because they aren’t reality. All he wanted was a shot in a system that would give him the ability to create resources. That wasn’t a dream. It was his drive. He found it then he maximized it. There is no way to “make it.” Everyone has there way of making there way to a place where they are comfortable. There is always more than one process of making it. No two paths are the same.

There is nothing other than the present. There is only the ever-present moment. Time is simps something we have concocted to bring structure to a day. There is no such thing is time. (A little off topic but too good to not include)

There is a difference between the material Cory & Maurice have consumed compared to the material John has consumed. Cory and Maurice have focused on the power of thought whereas John consumes more wartime material. John’s life is about preparation and being unable to be taken down. There is nothing that can bring him down. Like battle, life is a fucking war. What you consume that ultimately shapes your personality. Understanding how you learn is what enables you to retain information and gain a better understanding of yourself. A better understanding of yourself, as we have mentioned several times on the show, will help you in all areas of life.

What Maurice fears the most in life is going back to a place where he is dependent upon drugs and alcohol. This is the fundamental piece of the Jenga tower that is Maurice’s life. If this piece is pulled everything comes crumbling down. He does a ton of preventative shit to ensure he never goes back there. Getting up early, training hard, working his ass off in business and speaking on this podcast. All things that help keep him on track. John battles with trusting people in business. He has to force himself to do it by saying “if you get fucked over at least you tried doing what you needed to work on.” Cory was afraid of staying in the same cycle as his family. He so desperately wanted to break out of poverty and provide a different life for the next generation of the Gregory family that his greatest fear was always failing to do so. He had seen destructive behavior continuing down family lines of those around him and he had the wherewithal to recognize this and say no… it stops with me. He never wanted to wakeup one day and realize that he was in it, that he had continued that cycle. One thing Cory still fears regularly is regret. The worst thing he can think about is on his death bed wishing he had done or gone after something he didn’t.

None of the men on this podcast had great relationships with their fathers. Not having a present father has helped to build skills, ambition and the drive to be successful. A lot of me from the time of being a young boy just want to see his mother at peace. Forcing them to step into a more adult role at a young age and putting them into a position where they are forced to figure it out as they go. There is no roadmap for that shit. Just as there is no roadmap for success in entrepreneurship. In any environment where you have to grow up faster, you are forced to become resourceful. If it were not for the negative things that transpired, they would not have learned what they needed to. If you have a negative parental influence in your life you have two options. You can either brush it off as them being themselves and continue the cycle or recognize it as what not to do and do everything in your power to break the cycle.

Maurice’s father left he and his mother when he was just a little kid. He had no relationship with him growing up and to be honest, Maurice didn’t give a fuck about his dad. After he got out of prison, his father died and Maurice was incredibly distraught for a reason unknown to even him. He couldn’t understand why was so broken down by the death of this man that he never knew. He later came to realize that he had been holding all this hatred and anger inside him when he never new the full story. As a kid it was impossible for him to comprehend the complexities of the relationship his parents had so it was easier for him to just say “fuck you dad” than to dig into the complications. If you are dealing with complications in your family, do not blindly forego one parent for the other. It is possible to grow past this and gain an understanding. Fatherhood is something that you earn through what you do and how you take care of others. Cory didn’t hang his hat on whether his dad was or wasn’t proud but he did want his dad to be proud of him. The only thing John’s father taught him was to not talk back to police. That was it. So it bothers John when he would try and take credit or claim to have added value to John’s life. Your parents are people and they make mistakes. If you are having difficulties with them do not be afraid to admit it to yourself at the very least.

THE PODCAST CANT BE STOPPED!!

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