How To Optimize Your Relationships

“You have talent and then if you don’t optimize it, it is your own fault.”

“Pay attention, over deliver and fucking kill it on your end because one day the mentor isn’t going to be there. You’re going to be the guy.”

“People don’t give you anything. They can give you an opportunity but its on you to be prepared to take advantage of the shit.”

“When you have your shit together, people want to be around you.”

“There is a difference between using someone and utilizing someone.”

“The vision drives the discipline.”

EPISODE INDEX:

  • Welcome Back: 1:45
  • Maurice’s Talk At The University of South Carolina 3:45
  • Optimize Your Situation: 16:45
  • Building & Curating Relationships: 26:55
  • Humble Yourself: 42:45
  • John Fosco Gets Relationship Counseling: 55:15
  • Personal Relationships Threatening Business: 1:14:15
  • Closing Remarks: 1:27:15

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Statistically speaking the people who are playing in top tier college football don’t come from the best backgrounds. They are then pushed into a career path that has only 2% success rate (NFL). The narrative for these kids needs to be changed to focus more on what they can do outside the game. Too many people in their situation view football as the be all end all for them. If someone told you, you could get on a plane with them and go pick up 10 million dollars in California would you go? Absolutely. Now what if that person told you the plane only had a 2% chance of making it…? Would you still take the risk? In order to succeed you must have an opportunity, excel in your current league, you must have the talent, the work ethic, remain injury free, perform in big moments against the best in the world, find a team that needs someone in your position and then you need to sustain that year after year. Even then, very very few people play in the NFL after they are 40 so what are you going to do then? Even if you are able to remain injury free. Take advantage of the resources that are in front of you in school while you are there and if your sport works out that is great but be prepared for another career path because at some point you will need it. Seek out the donors at your school and see if you can learn. Find a successful person and learn from them. Universities thrive on donor money from successful alumni. Value the education, value the relationships that you can make if you are in school. You may not be in the top 2% but if you are in the top 10 even top 20 percentile then you have people who know who you are. You can get a lot out of a successful college athletic career even if you never make it the league because you now have an “in” with so many people who otherwise may have never given you a shot. Optimize your situation.  John was a caddy at a country club as a kid and he saw how people were able to take advantage of the relationships caddies would build with the members. Building these connections over time is how you grow a phenomenal network. People think the job interview is how you get your next job. Nope. Pay attention to who you are talking to. This is how you can get past the job interview.

Building professional relationships is all about how you operate. There is a skillset to this. You deliver and you pay attention. Cory thought MP was the be all end all during his time there. Everything runs its course but the key is to be aware enough to take what you can and learn from the situations. These lessons are transferrable and you can use them to further yourself after your current venture runs its course. The ability to build these relationships come from developing yourself because people who have success can spot a fake motherfucker from a mile away. When you develop yourself consistently it shows and people want to work with the person who values working on themselves. Successful people want to be with people who have other shit going on. They want to be around people who have their shit together. When you are interacting with these people, be a professional. Look them in the eye, speak clearly, shake their hand firmly. Even if you haven’t done anything yet, it is recognized when you carry yourself like a pro. For everyone you want to do any sort of business with, have a strategy. Have a well thought out strategy for what you are going to do for this person to get what you want out of the relationship. This is not deceitful. This is taking advantage of an opportunity and operating like a professional. There is a difference between using someone and utilizing someone. Using someone is all focused on self whereas utilizing someone is building a win-win scenario.

You stop inputting new information when you stop being humble. You do not value other’s opinions or other’s thoughts because you don’t want to listen anybody. You think you have it all figured out. This is the most dangerous place to put yourself.

In your personal relationship with your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband you must make yourself okay with being “punk’d” from time to time. You may be this big bad ass entrepreneur out in the world but when you come home your girl is not gonna see that. You are just yourself and no amount of money you make is going to change that. Cory isn’t the business owner. He is just Cory who has no more power in his relationship than his wife. The fan club you build in business does not carry when you are at home. This is yet another reason why you cannot let your ego run wild. Look at the guys who are super successful and look at their divorce rates. You cannot look at your relationship like you look at a business. Harmony at home is what can allow you to operate on a high level in your business. You know you have someone by your side who is a gamer and is ride or die with you when you are not at your best and he/she picks up the slack. If you are usually super optimistic but for whatever reason you have a period where you are doubting yourself, doubting what you’re building, your significant other should be able to step in and check you to bring you back up. There will also be times where you don’t agree with the solutions to problems, you think your solutions are better but you have to be able to compromise. The ability to do this comes from the love of the relationship and the selflessness of yourself.

Where is the line where you say that your personal relationship with a spouse or girlfriend is taking too much away from your work? There is a level of production we all expect out of ourself. If it feels like the person in your life is sucking so much from you that you are getting worse and not better then it is too much. If they are not adding balance, support, companionship etc. to your life and they are taking away from the other aspects of your life then the line has been crossed. You can go through your relationship and just be a beast and make everything about you all the time but that would be a terrible environment to live in. As entrepreneurs the world of our businesses revolve around us and the decisions we make. This same mentality cannot be taken home 24/7/365. For John, he is better at navigating those relationships because everything is goal oriented. He has struggled in relationships because he views it as going day by day and just seeing what happens. He has a strategy for everything except his personal relationship with his girlfriend.

Too many people want to dance around difficult situations. When you deal with the truth some people may not like it but if that person is mature enough, they will respect it. You will undoubtedly offend some people but when you deal in the truth at least everyone knows you aren’t some fake motherfucker.

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