“Forgiveness helps you to stay centered.”
“If you are trying to build yourself into something or if you have something to lose, you need forgiveness in your toolbox.”
“We all have a purpose, we all have a mission in life and if evening the score is something that is taking up headspace we are devoting less to achieving our mission.”
“Success is holding yourself to a higher standard and part of holding yourself to a higher standard is doing things others won’t.”
“When you set out on a vengeful mission to even the score you only move backwards.”
“Allowing what others have done to you to enter your dialogue is only hindering you and giving them power.”
“When you get through shit, it makes you tougher than a motherfucker.”
- Welcome Back: 1:30
- Forgive For Yourself: 4:30
- Forgiveness Isn’t A ‘Have To’: 13:50
- Forgiving Enables You To Live Your Purpose: 23:15
- The Inability to Forgive: 38:00
- Maurice Forgiving The Negativity That Surrounded Him: 49:20
- John’s Ask Of The Audience: 1:03:00
- Closing Remarks: 1:05:15
The ability to forgive is a necessity when it comes to being successful and while some may find it easy to forgive, the forgetting how terrible it feels to have been wronged can be the hardest part. When you forgive someone it doesn’t mean you need to completely leave everything in the past and all of a sudden you are best friends again. What forgiveness really does is allow you to let go of that negativity in your mind, allowing you to progress.
There are people that come across your path whom you have relationships with, people you like and then something happens the relationship goes south, especially in business. When you have these negative relationships, whether you interact with them on a daily basis or not, the affect you. Simply holding onto the anger or harboring poor feelings toward that person is going to do more harm to you than them. Until you address and at least say your peace, it is going to take up space in your mind. Forgiveness is relinquishing those feelings for you. People get mixed up and think in order to forgive someone you need to do it for them. You don’t. When you recognize this it can make it easier to allow yourself to forgive someone who has wronged you. In long run it benefits you more than anyone else. Rather than putting your energy into something productive, your mind is giving energy to this negativity and it is for nothing. That person has nothing to do with you or what you have going on so there is no reason to grant them permission to rent space in your mind. As time goes on and you don’t forgive that other person it begins to create a sense of anxiety whether you recognize that as the cause or not. This is what is pulling on you daily. It is pulling you off the line to your success. They have to deal with themselves. You have to worry about you. Forgiveness is about personal growth and allowing another person to know that you are letting go of the animosity in this relationship. When we get to the place of truth in ourselves where we can vulnerably go to another person and admit we are wrong or forgive them for having wronged you. Do not let your ego get in the way of that. The negative feelings we harbor toward that one person tend to seep into our other relationships and our thought process, affecting everything we do. No one deserves to have that kind of hold on you. The sooner you can get right with yourself and let it go, the sooner you can get right with yourself.
Learning to control your emotion will get you further in life. You will tire yourself out with the mindset of any time someone wrongs you it must be met with conflict. If you can learn to accept what others do and handle your emotions like a mature adult you will save yourself a lot of wasted energy and thought. Learn to stay out of your own way by not reacting to what others want to throw at you. When you are able to recognize that certain people are just rooted in a place you don’t want to be in and are only out to do you harm it becomes easier to say essentially, “Fuck it, I do not need to let this person get to me because I operate in a completely different space than them.” If you are trying to build yourself into something or if you have something to lose, you need forgiveness in your toolbox.
We all have a purpose, we all have a mission in life and if evening the score is something that is taking up headspace we are devoting less to achieving our mission. Most of the time people are not going to care that they did you wrong so you have to be a big enough person to let it go. If you are big enough person to forgive someone and they meet you with negativity, it is on them. You did what you could and it is time for you to move on. If they reject you then so what. You are released of the burden you once held. They can continue to carry it if they so choose but it is of no worry to you. Never fear extending a hand to somebody because you think they might reject you. When you set out on a vengeful mission to event the score you only move backwards. Maybe it is necessary to simply let them win. They can throw a metaphorical haymaker to clear the air for them, you can let them because if you are on the path to ultimate success you can handle that.
Those who cannot forgive and let the resentment get the best of them ultimately act out and wind up in bad shape. You could look at the prison system and see that many of the people that are sitting in a cell right now are the result of this mentality. The ability to avoid this requires the ability to keep your ego in check. We cannot allow our ego and emotional reactions to run the show. We must understand how to respond rather than react. Responding requires a step back from the situation, mentally or physically to gain some perspective and think about the repercussions what you are about to do.
Especially in business, if someone you do business with who does not directly work for you or is not a partner but rather an outside vendor one day says “Fuck you” then you need to recognize that when you hang up the phone it is over. You do not need to let that resonate with you because if you do it will only drag you down to a lower level of functioning. No matter what you do in business or life you are going to have negative interactions and if you cannot forgive those who wrong you they will plant negative seeds inside of you. This negativity will plague you but it will only plague you as long as you let it. This is why when you allow forgiveness to prevail you free yourself to go on to your next big thing.
Make a list of anybody and everybody you hold resentment against, are mad at or feel have done you wrong or you feel that you did wrong. Then send them an email, text message phone call etc. and let them know that you are sorry or you understand what they did and you are cool. This is a direct action that will enable you to grow.
THE PODCAST CANNOT BE STOPPED!
This episode is brought to you by Twenty20 – where creative, entrepreneurial minds get authentic, real-world stock photos. If you are building your business, your website or blog you need this service! If you’re looking to positively inspire your audience on social media or on your blog, you’ll want to use engaging, fresh photos that are unique. Twenty20 has crowdsourced millions of exclusive photos from a community over 350,000 photographers – all available under a simple, royalty-free license. Today, they’re offering listeners of business and biceps a 5-photo free trial. To start yours right now, go to twenty20.com/biceps
This episode is brought to you by Boston Sword & Tuna! Your one stop shop for all your seafood needs. Get fresh seafood delivered to your door within 24 hours of placing your order on shop.bstseafood.com! USE PROMO CODE “BIZBIS15” For 15% off your next order!